A MALES PASSAGE FROM ADOLESNECES TO PUBERTY

The article “Culture of Cruelty" by Kindlon & Thompson was very interesting and informative. It is always nice to be able to examine other people’s points of views on the different behaviors children go through during their growth process. I found this article to be very interesting because I was not familiar with male’s passage from adolescence to puberty. The things that happened to those boys I found to be saddening and disturbing; furthermore, I had no idea that type of behavior went on. I am a female, so I could always tell if something was troubling my daughters, and I would help them through whatever crisis they were trying to handle; unfortunately, I could not do the same for my sons when they reached puberty because I was unfamiliar with the some of their behaviors as they went through puberty.

By both the authors being males, I would say, “They probably have some horror stories that they are keeping to themselves.” I agree with this article because as I think back on the time that my sons were going through puberty, their behavior did change just like my daughters, but the only difference is that my daughters came and talked to me about their problems and my sons did not. I remember when I use to be an overly protective mother, and would rush to the school to handle whatever situation that needed my attention involving my children; one day when one of my sons was in middle school, he was about 11 or 12 years old, and an incident happened at school, he did not come out and tell me, but I has suspected something was bothering him; of course, I had to pry it out of him because he refused to talk. When he finally told me, I said, “I am going up to the school to talk to the principle,” he said, “It was not a big deal.” I actually assumed he did not want me to go because he thought I was going to embarrass him, so I respect his wishes and did not go because I wanted him to be able to come to me if he had any other problems. Well needless to say from that moment on, he has kept me in the dark, the only way I knew there was a problem at school was because I got a call from the principle’ office saying that my son was involved in a fight and was going to be suspended; I will say that after a couple of fights he must have found his calling because I noticed that his group of friends started changing, and they appear to me to be rougher looking. My other son is the opposite of his brother in some ways, but the same in other ways.  He too stopped confining in me about unpleasant things that happened at school, and he also got into fights, but the difference is that he did not stay in trouble, and the quality of the friends he associated with were the type that I approved of.  He established his masculinity by playing and excelling in sports.  (By the way none of my daughters ever had been in fights at school or even suspended).

I agree that boys feel the pressure to prove their masculinity; I believe it is done for several reasons; one is to eliminate being a target to the tougher boys,  and to prove their strength, as well as impress the females, because speaking from experience, when I was junior high school,  I knew which boys were the toughest, and which boys got picked on all the time, and if it was known that a particular boy did not fight, he was considered a sissy, got bullied and even got picked on by girls.