A MALES PASSAGE FROM ADOLESNECES TO PUBERTY

The article “Culture of Cruelty" by Kindlon & Thompson was very interesting and informative. It is always nice to be able to examine other people’s points of views on the different behaviors children go through during their growth process. I found this article to be very interesting because I was not familiar with male’s passage from adolescence to puberty. The things that happened to those boys I found to be saddening and disturbing; furthermore, I had no idea that type of behavior went on. I am a female, so I could always tell if something was troubling my daughters, and I would help them through whatever crisis they were trying to handle; unfortunately, I could not do the same for my sons when they reached puberty because I was unfamiliar with the some of their behaviors as they went through puberty.

By both the authors being males, I would say, “They probably have some horror stories that they are keeping to themselves.” I agree with this article because as I think back on the time that my sons were going through puberty, their behavior did change just like my daughters, but the only difference is that my daughters came and talked to me about their problems and my sons did not. I remember when I use to be an overly protective mother, and would rush to the school to handle whatever situation that needed my attention involving my children; one day when one of my sons was in middle school, he was about 11 or 12 years old, and an incident happened at school, he did not come out and tell me, but I has suspected something was bothering him; of course, I had to pry it out of him because he refused to talk. When he finally told me, I said, “I am going up to the school to talk to the principle,” he said, “It was not a big deal.” I actually assumed he did not want me to go because he thought I was going to embarrass him, so I respect his wishes and did not go because I wanted him to be able to come to me if he had any other problems. Well needless to say from that moment on, he has kept me in the dark, the only way I knew there was a problem at school was because I got a call from the principle’ office saying that my son was involved in a fight and was going to be suspended; I will say that after a couple of fights he must have found his calling because I noticed that his group of friends started changing, and they appear to me to be rougher looking. My other son is the opposite of his brother in some ways, but the same in other ways.  He too stopped confining in me about unpleasant things that happened at school, and he also got into fights, but the difference is that he did not stay in trouble, and the quality of the friends he associated with were the type that I approved of.  He established his masculinity by playing and excelling in sports.  (By the way none of my daughters ever had been in fights at school or even suspended).

I agree that boys feel the pressure to prove their masculinity; I believe it is done for several reasons; one is to eliminate being a target to the tougher boys,  and to prove their strength, as well as impress the females, because speaking from experience, when I was junior high school,  I knew which boys were the toughest, and which boys got picked on all the time, and if it was known that a particular boy did not fight, he was considered a sissy, got bullied and even got picked on by girls.

Offensive Music Video “Ride”

I am an African American woman such as you. I am married and have five children, three girls and two boys; they are at the influential age were they want to emulate what they think is hip and cool. They are into music and music videos. They go through the house all the time singing their favorite songs, and your song just so happens to be one of their favorite songs; you have catchy lyrics. I could not make out the entire lyrics to one of your songs because they would abruptly stop singing it or playing it whenever they think I am near them. But on one occasion, they did not see or hear me coming, and I heard must of the lyrics to Ride. I thought to myself; you could not be singing about what I thought— having sex. I inquired if you made a video, and sure enough you did featuring Ludacris. Ms. Ciara you are a very beautiful African American young lady; God has blessed you to be a very talented artist with a lovely voice and the ability to dance. Please tell me, what made you decide to sing a song like that as well as make a music video that denotes your song?

In your video, you are singing and demonstrating—riding it. It is clear to me that you made your video either not thinking about you audience, or to entice a particular audience of men. If your man likes the way you ride it, then you both should be extremely happy, but to demonstrate your skills in your music video is distasteful. Your video has very strong sexual innuendos and is sending a clear message even without you singing the lyrics. For instance your dance movements, they are unambiguous as you lie on the floor and simulate how you have sex. Next, you stand with legs apart and squat your body to show your audience you are capable of even more sexual moves as you ride it. In another scene, you show your ass and bounce it to your audience letting them know you give that up too showing how you move it when you ride it. You are selling sex; for example; the way you are sitting in the chair the camera only exposes your legs apart with you wearing over the knee laced up stiletto heel boots; a decent female would not sit like that because it sends a nonverbal sexual message.  

Furthermore, as for your attire, you are exposing yourself by leaving very little to the imagination of your naked body by wearing a skimpy swimsuit exposing your pelvic area, as you rotate and thrust that region, wearing a fur coat as a backdrop with stiletto heels that appears to be 7” high. The image you portray is that of a typical male sexual fantasy. Given the fact that your video is called Ride, you surely are getting your message across loud and clear. In another scene change, you are soaking wet from head to toe as you ride an electronic bull, once more the camera is focused on the parts of your anatomy that is viewed by men as a sexual stimulator. The message you are sending in that scene also is loud and clear that you have sex (ride) with your man (the bull) and not give up even if you are tired and dripping wet with sweat; you can keep it up for hours.

I feel that your video should be discontinued, for the simple fact that it sends a negative message to young impressionable females, and your performance is degrading, and disrespectful to all respectable women. You may not believe that you are a role model, but your fame puts in the public eyes and qualifies you as being a role model because whatever you do that draws attention to yourself is magnified and available for millions of people of all age, sex, and nationality to view. Your video sends a negative message to young and upcoming females who may enter into the music business that it is okay to dress half naked and parade around like a trophy, while men have the common courtesy to stay fully dressed. Another degrading part of your video is where you put strong emphasis on each word of your song as you sing that “You work it so good many…want to buy me.” Money for sex is clearly not a positive message to be sending your audience especially to females. Even though the music industry dominated by males, you should not have to feel like you need to promote your music by being half naked and simulating sex just to boost your music sales.

To view this music video called “Ride” by Ciara featuring Ludacris. Click on this link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lp6W4aK1sbs

The Media and Sexual Stereotypes

In the past, it was easy to identify sexual stereotypes of men and women; they were depicted, in newspapers, magazines, and most of all in mass media.  The movie “Sexual Stereotypes in media: Superman and the Bride” is a prime example of how sexual stereotypes of women and men have been portrayed in the past 50 years. This is now 2010, and there have been significant changes in how society views sexual stereotypes in the media.

In the movie, it mentioned you can’t void messages or images you see; consequently, what is constantly viewed in the media causes brainwashing to take place because there are numerous messages and images of what a—real man or real woman represents. Many of the sexual stereotypes that were shown and mentioned compares woman to men, such as ying and yang, hot and cold; it also sent a message that you cannot be both. For so many years, men dominated the media industry, and they showed men and women in images of how they believed they should be viewed, of course, it was bias. In the movie, both sexes were described, a few descriptions says that a—real woman is soft, weak, confused, dumb, stupid, wrong, and a slave, but a—real man is described as being hard, strong, decisive, smart, right, and a hero; these metaphors are proof that men and women were depicted as being the exact opposite of each other.

Furthermore in the movie, there was a cartoon of a female shown as a little girl, teen ager, young lady, and as a woman and in every stage of her growth cycle she was attached to a ball and chain, which to me denotes that a female’s only purpose in life was to be chained like a slave to a man as a wife or as a mother. Times have changed and many of the sexual stereotypes no longer exist, or have overlapped. Hallelujah!!!  women have broken the chains and tossed the ball, and have put an end to old female sexual stereotypes; they are now being seen working along with men in roles that once were viewed as only for men for example: they are seen portraying roles such as detectives like all the CSI, doctors like in Gray’s Anatomy, lawyers like Judging Amy, and attorneys like in Law and Order, and in cartoons such as Wonder Woman and Superwoman; these roles represent female as being smart, strong, independent, decisive, as well as being heroes. They are no longer seen as just a simple homely housewife and mother needing a man to validate them.

Because the media is a multi-trillion dollar industry, it had to change with the time and put away sexual stereotypes of the past. If women had no choice but to continue viewing themselves in the images that did not truly depict them, they would stop watching television shows and movies, so lack of viewers equal poor ratings, and loss revenue. These significant changes could not have taken place if women were not given a voice and men not willing to hear.

Who is Louise?

Have you ever read a novel and got to the end, and the narrator leaves you conjecturing whether or not one of the main characters is alive or an apparition? Well, Jeanette Winterson does just that in her novel “Written on the Body.” I must decipher the ending of this novel; I will search for clues within the novel that implies that the ending of the novel is actually the beginning in hopes of resolving the final chapter; is Louise alive, or did she reappear to the narrator as a figment of his/her imagination, and thus has the love affair been loss or gain.

In the beginning of the novel, the first line says, “Why is the measure of love loss? The narrator could be referring to Louise as being the person loved, and that she has died, and unfortunately if Louise did die, the narrator would never get a change to quantify their love. Seeing that the narrator had carried on numerous affairs, and had been in several relationships throughout the novel, I have doubts if he/she really loved Louise and if she actually exists to the narrator. Louise, female, married to Elgin, carries on an affair with the narrator whose gender is ambiguous. On page 20, why is Louise lying in a bed between sheets that were Garish? It makes no sense to me when on page 28 he/she apparently just met her. We have two lovers the narrator and Louise; Louise desires the narrator, and vows to never leave him/her, and upon declaring her love, she announces to her husband she is leaving him, and moves in with her lover. All this makes for an interesting believable love story, but unfortunately, their new found love did not last long; Elgin states that Louise has been battling leukemia for sometime, which she neglected to tell her lover. Because of Louise’s health, she was discarded by her lover. Here Louise is: a woman who has given up everything, left her husband of 10 years, came to her lover with only the clothes on her back, and they set up house. She made the ultimate sacrifice for her lover, and the narrator does not give her a voice to decide what is best for her. Right here is where I question if she really existed. At this point, I don’t like the heartless narrator, because upon further skimming through the novel, Louise is nowhere to be found. Is she lost forever? The narrator is left licking his/her wounds in an unsuccessful quest to locate her. As the narrator puts it, “Body and mind know how to hide from what is too sore to handle.” Needless to say, his quest is over. “It’s as if Louise never existed, like a character in a book. Did I invent her?” (189).

I believe that because of the narrator’s previous escapades in love affairs, Louise was an imaginary person. The narrator needed to be in a relationship where a person would give up the world for him/her, and when that was done, apparently did not know how to handle it, so to get him/her out of that relationship the discovery of Louise’s leukemia set the stage. As far as Louise reappearing at the end of the novel showing signs of her battle with leukemia, I think not; the narrator is only wishing to be given a second chance, and to gain the love which was loss. May Louise rest in peace.